In the era of self-love and compassion, discipline can get a bid of a bad rep.
But I believe that self-discipline can be a great act of self-love.
Having the discipline to get things done is what creates your rewards and is a way of signalling to your brain that you honour the promises you make to yourself. Ultimately it’s about looking after future you and building self trust.
But how do ‘disciplined’ people do it?
Let’s start off by dissecting discipline a little bit, before I get into my own tips and tricks.
Discipline vs motivation
People often confuse self-discipline and motivation. The truth is, motivation fades and is reliant on external factors while discipline is an internal driver that often needs to be a catalyst in itself.
Discipline is something you can build over time. If you’re not used to it, it can be hard to implement but ultimately it’s just about having enough will and desire to actually get going.
Once you’ve started, people often rely on motivation to keep the ball rolling but that’s where many fall short.
You have to rely on something within you to give you the push when all other motivators are lost.
My relationship to discipline
People have often praised my discipline.
And I once attached a lot of my self image and worth to this trait which isn’t necessarily the healthiest way to be.
Discipline is fantastic and essential in many ways, but what is it really if we can’t also enjoy contentment and acceptance?
In yoga, discipline or ‘tapas’, and contentment or ‘santosha’ are both important ethical concepts. It was during my yoga teacher training that I truly began to realise that one should not exist without the other.
So while I still value that strong discipline and drive within me, I’m learning to also lean into the softness from time to time.
In what ways am I disciplined? I hear you ask. Well, here’s a few examples…
I’m someone who has a regular workout routine and has done so for years now.
I mostly makes healthy food choices.
I wake up early, have morning rituals, and avoid screens both first thing in the morning and last thing at night.
I’m someone who often follows through on what she says she’ll do.
While a lot of how I live has become somewhat habit, and I do it because it genuinely makes me feel good, I of course have moments where I’d rather just take the ‘easy option’.
So how do I do it?
A lot of it has come with time but I do have some tricks I use for those moments where it doesn’t feel so easy.
Tips to stay disciplined
- Accountability
In the early stages when you’re learning to exercise discipline, external drivers can be beneficial. One that has stood the test of time is accountability.
It’s funny how we often worry more about letting other people down than letting ourselves down, but it seems to be an innately human trait many of us share.
You can use that to your advantage here and ask someone to keep you accountable.
Over time, this accountability will turn inwards. As you feel the benefits of following through on your promises to self, you can use this to train your self-accountability. - Thinking about future you
A reason why many lack discipline is that it’s easy to give into what may feel good in the present moment.
While I’m all about BEING present, sometimes you need to consider how your decisions and actions will make you feel over time.
Imagining how future you could benefit is a strong decision driver. To remind you of this, maybe try post-it notes or reminders on your phone as friendly triggers. - Habit stacking
Habit stacking is where you add a new habit onto an existing one.
Some really basic examples are drinking a glass of water before your morning coffee, adding your new stretch routine to the end of your workout, or weaving meditation into your current morning routine.
Habit stacking is a great cheat code for those smaller changes and can be powerful over time, especially when you look back and reflect on the impact they’ve had. - Assess your priorities
Something that massively influences discipline are your priorities.
If you haven’t made something a priority in your life, it’s going to be pretty hard to find the will to make the necessary changes.
Whenever you have any focus in life, you first have to be honest and think about where it sits in your order of priorities. - Don’t be all or nothing
You have a cookie when you were planning on ‘eating clean’ all week. You decide the healthy eating is wasted and you may as well just go all in and start again next week.
Or perhaps you’re not feeling up for that hour’s weight session or haven’t left enough time for it. You decide not to move at all.
Sound familiar?
This is one of the most common forms of self-sabotage and lack of discipline I see time and time again.
Life isn’t all or nothing.
Something is usually better than nothing.
Now, if you need rest you can honour that rest. But in all the other times, do what you can and don’t give in to the spiral.
It’s easier to stay on that train of discipline when we have some momentum, no matter how small, rather than jumping off completely. - Perspective of what discipline is
If you want to make discipline work for you, you need to change how you think of it.
Discipline isn’t the fun police. It isn’t the destroyer of joy or the bringer of boredom.
When used in the right way, it’s your best friend. It allows you to achieve your full potential and builds self confidence. So stop thinking of it in such a negative light and learn to love it.
Ethos Health Coaching 